cranberry mocktail

what kind of loony wouldn't put alcohol in this?

ugh. UTIs are the worst. they make you cranky miserable and in desperate need of a drink. but you can't have a drink! because it will make you want to die. all you can have is a gallon of cranberry juice. and after drinking 1/2 of it, you need to get creative to finish the rest. you're already stupid with pain, why not trick yourself with a mocktail? put it in a fancy glass with a garnish and a straw. pretend to get tipsy, or mix it with painkillers and get crazy! you deserve it.

cranberry mocktail

• unsweetened cranberry juice
• lime juice
• white honey (or agave, or stevia), to taste
• soda water (or ginger ale)

preparation:

• fill a tall glass 1/3 way with cranberry juice. add a squeeze of lime, and small drizzle of honey(agave/stevia). stir well to make sure the sweetener is dissolved. take a taste. too tart? add a bit more sweetener- but not too much. it should have a pucker factor of 7 out of 10.
• add ice to the glass and top it off with soda. give the whole thing a stir and drink it down. repeat with 20 more. don't worry about the hangover.